Go after it...

Life is entirely too precious to waste on the things and people who do not really matter to us. Many times we hang on to things that are not worth hanging on to. Or sometimes we hang on to things without knowing why and we end up taking them for granted. I read a book yesterday that was so captivting that I read it in one day. In the book one of the main characters was a woman that was searching for love in all the wrong places as usual. And though she had an interest in someone she decided in herself that he wasn't in her league and that he had to be taken. Later on in the book she ended up meeting this man and they hit it off. Just when the story was getting picture perfect and they were engaged, she was murdered. The book ended in a sad way but I was not necessarily upset about the ending. Life is really like that sometimes and we waste time not going after what we want and think could possibly happen. I'm not saying take every chance that there is because most decisions need alot of thought. But why not give some extra thought cause you never know what can happen. Do not waste your life, take chances but don't take chances that will cause you to waste your life. Lata People.
Please let me know what you think, cause I'm still contemplating on this.

Holidays are for families

In case you didn't realize Holidays are for families, friends and all the people that you love. Some of most bad times occur on holidays with families and when you can look back at the situations and laugh it is wonderful. I love my family so much and we're all going to be together again this Christmas. This will be my first Christmas with both sides of my family to together (this should be exciting). The only sad thing is that my grandmother is not with us, but its alright because I am hoping to see her again one day.

I am in New York right now and I have been spending alot of time with my cousin. We are so alike (stobborn and headstrong) that I hope we don't fight while I'm here. I love her with all my heart and I feel that she is my twin but I'm afraid that we're going to bite each others heads off. But yea we're going to have fun anyway, cause I don't know whwne I'm going to be able to see her again.

To my girls: Jailyn, Melanie, Candace, Raquel, Deanna, Mellena, Danielle, Jaquece and Hermique Happy Holidays Ladies!! Hugs all around and not too much bubbly. Don't do anything I wouldn't do!

Well I'm signing off now, Merry Christmas to all. Enjoy it no matter who its with.

Got Standards?

There are many reasons why our generation is called "Generation X". One of the main reasons is the lack of morals and standards that are set. It seems like no one cares who does what with whom or about their reputations. Then there are few and faithful who refuse to give in to the things that they do not believe in. Or even those who may venture out and do something but then decide that it is not something that they want to be apart of. Though the few and faithful may get discouraged sometimes about not being noticed, they should not be because it is seen by others. A friend of mine said that though guys may not say it they notice a strong female who has standards and honestly may be intimidated by that. So ladies if you are strong and know what you stand for and won't stand for then know that someone notices and admires your will-power. Even sometimes when we may make mistakes because of our curiousity we can say that it is all in growing and learning. One thing that those with standards take for granted is that way after they are set that they still believe in it and will have the backbone to stand for it. Don't be discouraged if you may have ventured away from what you believe but take a moment and get yourself together. And even if you haven't strayed away make sure that the standards you set are what you still believe. Don't take your will-power for granted but acknowledge your strengths and weaknesses and learn from your mistakes. And make sure that if you go against you standards that it is worth it and you won't regret it later.

December 20, 2005

It is 4 days before Christmas and I am just getting home. I drove back today to make a flight tomorrow morning to New York!! I might get a white Christmas this year. Its been so long since I've had a Christmas in NY. I have great expectations about this Christmas break. Not necessarilly presents but to have fun with my family. Merry Christmas and Season's Greetings to all!!

What if?....

What if we were to go back to the days where we didn't have cell phones and we could only send letters and not emails? What if we walked more and drove less? What if there wasn't a McDonald's only every corner and we had to cook our food every day!!! What if we stopped paying attention to the little insignificant things in life and started paying attention to the things that really matter? Then we would have to acknowledge what really matters... Technology was made to make our lives simpler but they have really made them more complicated. We just have more to worry about. If we didn't have cell phones we wouldn't have to worry about paying bills and having a job to pay those bills. If we didn't have cars we wouldn't have to worry about making sure our rides looked good cause we would all be walking. We wouldn't have to worry about our health because we would walk all, the freaking time! Now if you really think about it have technology made us better or our lives simpler? Ok, in some ways yes but for the most part no. But we have gotten so accustomed to having a gadget somewhere around us at all times that it almost seems impossible to live without. What happened to the days of just hopin that you would have a quater when you saw a pay phone? Though these gadgets are for our leisure lets not forget why they were invented in the first place. Don't get me wrong now I love, love gadgets but I have noticed that I can't seem to go anywhere without something electronic with me and I'm not sure if I like that kind of dependency.

Just something to think about... Like when you leave your cell at home and your entire day seems to just go wrong?... For a cell phone?

Ready for the Truth?

I got a real reality check today. I have always thought that my personality has been one that just about anyone could deal with and understand. I always knew I could be mean but I would have never considered myself a mean person. A friend of mine shed some light on me this morning whe I asked her a honest question. It has just hit me though what all of my friends have been saying all along. They think I'm moody when to me it is just that I don't have anything to say or I'm thinking about things so I don't talk. I knida feel like I might be misunderstood but at the same time I am going to take this opportunity to see what it is that I can change about myself. I know all my friends probably think that I am an evil witch but I'm really not I care about all of them and if I have ever hurt or offended them in anyway because of my attitude then I apologize.

Winding down

The countdown has begun for the last few days of school. There is only one more full week of school and then it is finals!! This semester went by very quickly and throughout all the stressed times we still managed to enjoy ourselves. All that stressing and we have made it out okay. It makes you wonder if you really needed to stress yourself out in the first place. Many times we have wondered what the point of school was anyway. It seems like all it does is make you tired and want to lose your religion. But all in all we have made it through more that half way. We are at the end of the race and we need to finsh the race strong so that we will reach the finish line. "The race is nto for the swift but fo rthose who persevere to the end."

"Imagine Me"

I love Kirk Franklin's new cd there are so many songs that speak out to me. One song in particular I love is called Imagine me. It talks about the obstacles in life we face and how in the end it seems almost unimaginable that we came that far. I know all of my friends can attest to this in one way or the other. These are the words...

Verse1:

Imagine me, loving what I see when the, mirror looks at me cause I, I imagine me, in a place, of no insecurities and I’ am finally happy cause, I imagine me, Letting go, of all of the ones who hurt me, cause they never did deserve me, can you imagine me, saying no to thoughts that try to control me remembering all you told me Lord can you imagine me, over what my mamma said and, healed from what my daddy did and, I wanna live and not read that page again.

Chrous:

Imagine me, being free trusting you totally finally I can imagine me I admit it was hard to see you being in love with some one like me finally I can imagine me.

Verse 2:

Being strong and not letting people bring me down you won’t get that joy this time around can you imagine, in a world where nobody has to live afraid because of your love fears gone away Lord can you imagine me

Bridge:

Letting go of my past and glad I have another chance and my heart will dance cause I don’t have to read that page again.

Right now this song is really speaking to me. The song equates life to pages in a book. And just like the words in the song there are some pages that I don't want to read again. I read somehting that said, "Every minute that you are upset is a minute of happiness that you won't be able to get back." This is to all my friends who haven't let go of the past though they may believe that they have. Just imagine what we could be if we did. We all want the best for each other so why not try to let it go? Just imagine it...

My Boo?

Ok think back to the past, to your first love, like or someone special. Next think on how you've moved beyond it and may be cordial or even friends with that person now. You think you've got all your feelings in check and then someone asks you, "Hey what about you and so and so?" And you're like, "what? thats in the past!". Then someone else asks you and then someone else. And you know that it isn't conspiracy so you start wondering "What about me and so and so?" Don't you hate when that happens? But wait here's the icing on the cake. The song by Usher and Alicia Keys comes on, "My Boo". By then you're really wondering, "Should I give that another chance?" But you come back to your senses when you have an interaction with that someone that makes you remember why it didn't work out in the first place.
I was just pondering on this because of how much this seems to happen. Everyone who thinks they know you wants to hook you up with the person from your past. Live and make your own decisions.

P.U.S.H.

This week was good. Despite the constant school work I was fine. I felt like I had an extra boost of energy that was not usually me. That's how I know it was God. I asked Him to help me handle this school work and he did. Thank you Lord for everything.

Nothing even matters

It is the beginging of November and usually everyone would be wrapped up tightly in sweaters and scarves, but not right now! It is 79 degrees today! I feel like I am wearing too many clothes. Everyone is loving the weather you can tell. Its giving everyone a nice pleasant spirit. I was talking to one of my girls yesterday and we were saying that we were really happy but we didn't know why. I think it was because of the weather. This weather is making me forget all of my worries that I have had for the past few weeks and just relax. It really seems like nothing even matters. Another friend I was talking to said that though we aren't stressing we are working as hard as any other time. I thank God for this weather and for keeping all pleasant even if it is only for the time being. Enjoy the sunshine while it lasts.

When you reach your breaking point....

Ok so you're going through the semester and you have that one class that is just not working with you. It seems as though no matter how much you study and extra work that you practice that you are not getting the grades that you want. In your mind the teacher hates you just because your not doing well. You might even feel like the slowest person in your class. Then comes midterms and you have stressed yourself out so much that you are giving up hope of improvement. Think of this, everyone else in your class thinks the same thing about you. Would you be encouraged to try harder? You should because somewhere in your life there is that one person that is routing for you and believes more in you than you do in yourself. And it seems whenever you reach that point where you want to give up you either remember who believes in you or that person has an encouraging word for you. There is always that person that looks up to you and admires your gifts, talents, and achievements that you may not even consider important. When it some down to it if you are doing your best and are using the gifts given to you for the best of your ability then you have nothing to be ashamed of. The biggest failures in life are the ones that never even try, but the successful ones are the ones who may have tried just about everything to find what they are the best at. Keep trying, don't give up.

Enjoy every moment and be encouraged

Moments in our lives that we may not find interesting or important should not be rushed. Every experience and situation shapes us into the person that we will one day be. Think of all the great people that there are that went through hard times that they didn't even want to deal with. But it was not until they went through those trials that they became stronger. Think about that the next time you face a challenge that you may want to rush or give up on. Stop to look at what you could be when that situation is over.


Just a little motivation to encourage you. I will begin writing my inspriational book soon.... I'll keep you updated on when it comes out.

Words cannot express....

I was talking with some friends last night about how life is for us right now. And in trying to explain to them how I felt about the past few weeks I couldn't. I didn't know what to say, how to say it, or where to start. I am seriously at a loss for words. At this point I don't think anyone but God will understand and I am not going to attempt to try either. Somethings are just better left unsaid. There are just sometimes when people have to take a minute and try to figure out things on their own. Hey.... here's an interesting question... have you ever regretted wanting to be grown up too quickly? I think I do....actually I know I do.....until next time..

Burnout!!

Ok I am majoring in Nursing and Fitness & Wellness and it getting tough. It's not that I don't want to do it(even though I was rethinking my career a few weeks ago) I know what I want to do and I'm excited to do it. But now it seems that I don't have enough time in the day to it all. I feel so overwhelmed and I honestly want to give up at times. Classes are no joke this year. I am still trying to order books and keep up my grades. All in all I know God is on my side because certain things have worked out that I know only God could handle. Though I feel overwhelmed I am not failing thank God. I am claiming that I make it to the end of this semester. the funny thing is that I fall asleep studying now. I have never done that before. I'll be reading one minute and nodding off the next that is too funny(I used to laugh at people that I saw sleeping like that.) Talking with my fellow nursing majors helps me not to give up. We are all burnout and are not healthy at all right now. We are probably the most unhealthy students on Oakwood's campus. We eat in class, we sleep while studying or in class , and we have no social life. Man if we're like this now will it get any worse when we get jobs or maybe they're just trying to prepare us for our jobs as nurses. Its so crazy how the people who have to constantly take care of others do not have time to care for themselves.

Don't get me wrong now I love it, I really do. Anytime I get a chance to watch tv I am watching Discovery Health or a Sports channel. I love what I'm doing but I'm just a littl tired right now.

Just wanted to update on school life. Lata.

Starting over

Have you ever felt like you got a new start and you have wiped your slate clean? I feel liek that right now with my my school work, jobs and my personal relationships. It is so crazy how time can change things. There are some people that I never though would actually be my friends and then something happened and now I have some more friends. I am very happy today for some reason and I am ready to take on anything. I feel like superwoman and my superpowers are God. I love everything about my life right now. And though I have a burden on my heart for some of the people in my life all I can do is be there for them and be true and loyal to them. Today is friday and I am ready for the Sabbath I really feel like celebrating. I have reched a new place and though I have my down days(alot of them this week) the only place I can go from here is up.
Live, Love, Life.

Happy Birthday to Me!!!!

Today is my 20th birthday. I am happy but sad. I'm happy because I lived another year of life and I'm growing up. I am sad because I am getting old and I'm scared. I have accomplished so much already and I don't know what the future holds because nothing is guaranteed. I keep thinking that I am two DECADES old. TWO DECADES!! That's a long time. Anyway I am in shock also because I am no longer a teenager. I'm in my 20's!!! Time for the big social life to begin!! Bring on the men who are about something, who have goals and who love the Lord more than themselves.
My birthday wishlist includes a camera (Canon A95), a new pair of fresh white air force ones (size 6 youth), money (and lots of it a sister is broke), and a good God-fearing man(yea I said it and it won't hurt if he is tall, 6ft, dark and handsome....Morris Chestnut....lol).

This weekend my friend Raquel left for Argentina. It seemed bittersweet because theough we were all happy for her and she was happy to go she and all of us were a little apprehensive about letting go. It's as if we are living vicariously through her, lol.

So Kelle I know you'll read this, eventually, so we love you and we miss you already. WE know you're going to reach the highest heights and you've just got started.

Ok now that I'm leaving again Happy Birthday to me and Raquel "You go girl".

Marriage right around the corner?.....(I'm running)

Yesterday I went to a wedding where a guy who went to my same high school got married. I still can't believe he's married. I was sitting in the wedding saying to my friends he is really getting married. It was just too surreal to think back to our GAAA days and say to myself again this dude is really serious. At the reception I was talking to another guy that went to our school and he said the same thing. He actually said its hard to believe that we are of age to get married. I've always looked at marrige as something far, far away but it could be closer than I thought.

I'm not looking at marriage right now I just want to enjoy life. So Bring on the Men!!!!

Why did we want to grow up again?

As a child things were so easy. Life events wern't as hard as we though they were and we had dreams that we could achieve anything. But as we got older we saw how hard life can be and that it spares no one. all the bumpes an dhurdes in life are supposed to make us stronger but when they happen we only want to crawl under a rock and never come out again.
About 6 years ago my grandmother was diagnosed with cancer. It was devastating to our family but grandmother waws one of those people wo didn't like to let things get to her. She was the type to determine what she was going to make out of life. She was strong and never wanted to give up, she wanted to continue doing things like she used to. But the cancer was too much for her. Throughout all of the struggling I never remember my grandmother sying that she wanted to give up until the last ime I talked to her. She told me that she was praying for all of us that the Lord will take care of us when she was gone. I didn't even know what to say when she said that. I was kinda shocked that she could be so blunt about it but that was her. Less than a month later my grandmother passed and though I was sad I know that she wanted to go.
I am writing about this because my friend told me that her grandfather is not doing very well right now. I don't even know what to tell her because I don't know how my family made it through this far. Death is so hard to deal with and its a wonder why we want to saty on thei earth instead of trying to get to heaven where there will be no sadness. I can't wait to see that day.
We wanted so much to be grown (and we still do sometimes) but when we get all of life's blows we don't want to deal with them. So many dreams we had for lives are completely gone and done with and we have made our plans that are easier to attain. All I'm trying to say is life is hard and we have to first trust in God, keep up our faith and do our best to encourage each other. Even though we are here in this wretched place the Lord's blessings are still coming and they will continue to come as long as we keep trusting in Him.

A new Begininging

Well the school year has begun and I am doing the impossible, LIVING WITHOUT INTERNET!! Oh the Horror!! It's so crazy cause its so hard to live without but I'm surviving. I'm in my own apartment and I am on my own( not completely but for the most part.) Anyway I am broke and I have an interview tomorrow for a job that I need desperately.

This school year I am doing alot. I'm basically about living life to the fullest this year. I am taking more classes than usual, trying to work two jobs, trying to get involved in sports, work on the yearbook committee and meet as many people as possible since I'm stayed in my room alot the past two years. I'm seriously going to enjoy this school year and so far I am. My brother is here with me and that's been fun having him here with me.

Life is a little hard though at times and I'm already feeling overwelmed with school. I am claiming the promise that through God all things are possible and that my grades will be really good this semester. I want to make God apart my life so much that everything else just falls into place. I just feel so busy and my mind is always going and racing. I don't have much time to relax anymore but I'm going to pace myself so that I don't have a nervous breakdown.

Anyway that is the update for now I will try to keep up even without internet(teardrop).
Lata people!!