Girlfriends

I was talking to a friend of mine tonight and he said that he was ready to go back to school. Even though he is not the first person to tell me that I was still a little shocked. My life may be quite boring right now but I would rather enjoy this boredom for as long as possible before I have to go back to studying.

What I miss the most is hanging out with my girls at school. When we go back this school year I won't be the same because everyone is doing their own thing and will be split up. I will miss all of our long talks and moments of acting silly to entertain ourselves. There are few females that I can call friends and this school year these ladies have increased that number for me. Apart of me wants us to stay together and really be like Girlfriends on TV, but sadly that is not realistic. I will miss all my girls but I hope that are friendships are strong enough that we will always remember each other and the times that we had together.

Mysterious Ways!!

You know sometimes there is that little voice telling us to do something and we don't do it and then we wished we had. Don't act like you haven't had that experience before I know I have. Anyway I know that have ignored that little voice many times thinking that I knew it all. Somestimes knowing when to listen to the voice can be so beneficial. I'm not going to go into detail but there are times that we don't think that God hears our prayers and crys but in he speaks to us we just don't hear him. But like I said before if you aren't listening for a little voice you're not going to hear him. Listen to the little voice even if it doesn't make sense. Believe me I can testify to doing things because I felt impressed to do so and it brought an outcome that I had been praying about. Sometimes it takes a little faith to hear God's voice.

There are signs everywhere

Whenever I have a problem I pray about it. It seems though that I never get a direct answer from God and my friends feel like that also. An experience this week has shown me that God does answer but when he answers we have to be really connected to him to hear him. God speaks through people many times. I know there are comments made by people that we may not like but sometimes that may be what God is trying to tell us. I was reading my devotion this morning and it was talking about this same topic using the story in 1 Kings 22:1-39. Its about Ahab and the prophet that he didn't like because the prophet never said anything that he wanted to hear. But the fact was that God was speaking through the prophet to Ahab and if he had listened he would not have died the way he did (read it you'll understand). My devotion basically said that there are real prophets as well as false prophets in our lives who will both claim to be telling us the truth. Anyway what I'm trying to say is that the signs are all around us. Whether or not we are able to see the signs depends on our relationship with God as well as the amount of interference there is between our antennas and God. Remember spiritual things are spiritually discerned, so don't expect an answer from God when your antenna is picking up things that have nothing to do with God. We constantly cry out to God to help us, show us and give us so much but often times we fail to do our part. I know that I have not done my part and I know that I may still fall but I know what was messing up my reception (come on get with the metaphors). I'm not perfect but I am willing to try....

Looking for L@ve

Everyone looks for love in some way, shape or form. There is a picture perfect love that everyone invisions (I think thats how you spell it) for themselves. For some it may be that story book fairy tale love, or love drawn together through fate. For me I long for that love where the person for me is my best friend literaly not by the title. Thats the reason I feel that it is so important to make friends because you never know who will turn out to be "the one" for you. As a female I know that there are females like myself who want many characteristics in a future mate and are just waiting. Sometimes I look at the males who have something to offer and it discourages me because everything that I want is not there. The warped world we live in has numerous counts of divorces, infidelity, and other forms of corruption. But I gain some hope when I see couples who have been together for years and could not be anymore in love. I look at their love and I hope that one day my husband and I will be able to say the same thing about our relationship. In my heart I'm still searching for my love and I know many other females are also (sorry guys I can only speak for the females). Believe me even though I am waiting for that "ONE" for me and I am in no way rushing into anything or willing to take it lightly. I will though continue looking to see what they males around me have to offer. For now I'll enjoy the love of my friends and family until that time comes for me. And if it doesn't I know that I will still be happy.

Thankful

I'm writing this because the last two posts I have been complaining about life and things that I cannot control. There are so many things given to us in the is world that we take for granted. Just being able to get up and walk on our own is a blessing cause there are many people who would give just about anything to be able to walk on their own. My grandmother is blind and the fact that she can't do that much for herself makes me thankful that I can see even when I'm squinting outside in the sun. I have seen to many incidents on the road lately where there was about to be an accident but somehow it didn't happen. Then I go home and see trunks on fire on the highway. There are so many little things in life that we want or take for granted and we forget the bigger picture. The most important things in our lives should be the people that we love. These are the only things in life that cannot be replaced. Cars, houses and even money can be replaced but a life cannot. Even the people that we consider enemies are family to someone else and they are loved by someone. So imagine if the person that we loved the most in our families had someone out there that hated them as much as we hate our enemies. Losing my other grandmother two months ago has opened my eyes to see that you have to live for right now while planning for the future. Love the people around you right now cause there is no telling how much longer you will have them. There are so many gifts that God has given us to cherish and we have taken them and treated them horribly. Just being able to hear my grandmother crack jokes with the rest of us and cook for us again would make me so happy. But unfortunatley I can't get that back, all I have are the memories of the past because she cannot be replaced by anyone or anything.

Stressed!!

These past few days have been very difficult for me. I came home this summer with a plan that would give me a good start for the fall semester. It seems that almost all of my plans have fell through. I know I want God to work things through for me but I don't understand what is going on. I have some other options now to possibly become a nursing assistant and hopefully that will work for me. After that I have nothing else so if it doesn't work I'm done. There are so many things that I want for my life now and in the future and this summers incidents have discouraged me. I'm trying to think positive cause these types of incidents are much easier to deal with when you're poitive about them. I know that God is in control of my life and I want his guidance. But because I don't know what these situations are for I am becoming impatient. This is where the question "Let go and let God " or "Hold on for your blessing" comes in. What do you do when you don't know what to do? I don't know if that makes sense but that's how I feel. I am going to wait for God but in the meantime I'm going to work on thinking positively cause life is too short to constantly worry.

Just venting..

Its so crazy how most of our lives we have figured out and then when the time comes for something to happen it never does. Its like we do all that planning in vain. Sometimes I wonder if it is even worth wasting the time to make plans. I've heard some say that it does not work to make plans because they never work out but I'm not so sure if I agree with that. There are people who can plan their lives and their lives will go according to the plan. I know I'm not one of them I make plans and some work out and other don't. I don't know if I'm doing something wrong or if I'm not making the right plans. Either way I've learned to go with the flow. Sometimes life throws curve balls at us without us even knowing where they came from or how to react to them. Alot of times when stuff happens to me or don't happen to me I look up at the sky and I hope that God will peek out and let me know what's going on. Maybe let me in on some secret that will explain my life. I really want to go to heaven so I can ask God questions about my life and the people that have come into my life. I'm so confused...what to do?what to do? Anyway I'm not going to go into details about my personal business but I know I'm not the only one trying to hear God give me the answer to my problems. Until I get an answer I will look up at the sky and keep waiting.