Thursday, February 16, 2006
Play'd Again?
Thinking about be ing honest with myself has caused me to draw a couple of conslusions. I have avoided being honest with myself and those around me because of how I would feel. Doing this will cause me to have to put my pride and my guard down and make me quite vulnerable. Being honest with myself means accepting things as they are and dealing with them. I want to give up as I always do and become a man-hater again but I don't think I have the energy and I'm tired of escaping that way. My first instinct at most times is to hide or stay home all the time and sleep. I have always asked the Lord to lead me in these situations but it seems that this time it didn't work out and that it may never work out. I have to accept that and not give up hope but just relax and take care of me and wait for whoever he will be one day. One piece of advice though, everytime someone is not honest with you and you find out later it hurts so try not to do that to someone else. Be honest and straightup. So that everyone around you will know how you are for the jump. Okay for real you guys this is me being very honest and I honestly am more confused than ever.
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4 comments:
krystle hang in there. Shake off whatever life has thrown at you and keep on moving, I know that God has great things in store for you.
FINALLY!!!!
some honesty.... glad my words got u thinkin'
u know, i just wrote a story on Jailyn's blog and now urs......
it is SO freaking hard to be honest because i have too much pride. i feel like i can play the game better that any guy could and he would fall deeply in the trap. thats how good i am (not to toot my own horn, but "HONK HONK!")
we usually walk around with a brick wall and not many have not been able to break it down. it had to have been someone special that broke that wall and that felt good to give them a piece of our hearts.
then that FOOL messed up and still has a piece of us, but u know the saying "Fool me once shame on u, fool me twice shame on me." well, we LIVE by that saying, so now the wall is back up. now it has "boobie traps" around it and barbed wire and bombs for anyone that ever thinks about coming close.
the thing that sucks is that we miss out on life because of that "Fool". we pass every other guy (maybe Mr. Right) because he looks like Mr. WRONG. we don't wanna get hurt again, but its LIFE.
u can't control it, I can't control it, not ur parents or ur friends. only GOD. He made us so of course he controls the things around us. He just wasts u to trust Him. we've had that wall around us for so long that now we've begun to put God on the other side of it. let me explain...
when we "man-hate", sulk, lie to ourselves (i'm talking to myself too), hide from the world or get depressed, we're putting God behind that barbed wire. we're telling God that we don't trust Him and what He can do.
I trust God and I want u to trust Him too. so, yes this means that u HAVE to take ur guard down and be honest with yourself. HARD as HECK, but if u want God to help u have to let Him have your WHOLE heart. give Him EVERYTHING not just the parts that u want to give. He will NEVER give u more than u can bear and EVERYTHING happens for a reason.
yes, it will hurt along the way, but as long as u get there WITH GOD, its worth the ride.
Luv ya Krys and i'm glad that ur beginning to open up. only a little while longer......
sorry its so long. my fingers wouldn't stop!!!
Wow Krysstle Melanie is very right. Very well said mel! I like I love it, honesty at it best.
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