The last time I really wrote I was so down and out about everything I couldn't see the light at the end of the tunnel. I am so thankful now that so much has changed. I've learned so much about myself, life, men and my dreams. My hopes and dreams have since changed and I hope for much more than I have in the past. Even if all of my dreams don't come I know that I hoped for the best and not snything less than I ever wanted. In a few weeks I am going to be taking my exit exam for the fourth time and though I am hoping for the best I am also not limiting my options. my journey has taught me not to close myself off to other oppotunities and possibly other talents all because I have gotten comfortable. My journey in relationships has been rocky(for the last 6 years lol). There are some friendships with a few girls that I thought would last forever but we don't speak anymore... And my relationships with men have been to me a joke... and I can honesly only blame myself. I have realized that I love the people in my life hard, so if someone doesn't feel that from me then I don't love them simple as that. I have always tried to be selfless with the people I love because that I what I love to do and what I would like them to do for me. Giving too much of myself in the past has brought me to where I am today. I know that regardless of how much I love the people in my life I will still try my best to be there for them but I need to care for myself first and foremost.
God has been on my side the entire time, even when I chose not to acknowledge his presence. I had an expericne almost two months ago that helped me put it all into perspective. Dreams that I started to believe were unattainable are the dreams that I am actively persueing. I took a chance on God and resigned from my position at the hospital in order to study efficiently for my test. Since then I have no income but my God has been blessing me more than I ever expected. Worry serves me no purpose right now even though that is all I used to do.. I can't do it anymore because I know that I am only seeing one part of the picture. Right now I am just trying to go with the flow and enjoying the rollercoaster that God has me riding.
